* How to Become Very Unpopular - Binny Singh

Binny Singh

Do your own work well, and then you will have something to be proud of. But don't compare yourself with others. Galatians 6:4 (Bible)

Binny Singh

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* How to Become Very Unpopular

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There are some things that people really hate. To avoid being unpopular and going to dinner and the movies alone, we should be aware of these "get in trouble fast" behaviors. No one enjoys spending with someone who is unsympathetic, domineering, aggressive or uninteresting. Let's look at each of these gloomy character traits individually.


Have you ever known anyone who simply did not have a clue about what other people were feeling? If one is sympathetic then he can figuratively put himself in someone’s shoes and understand what that individual is probably feeling. He can then choose a response that is appropriate and understanding. Unfortunately, there are people who are so concerned about their emotions and their daily quandaries they have scant room left for others. These are usually very busy folks.

Simply put, you do not want to be unsympathetic or to consort with someone who can be defined in that way. Let’s consider this truism -- Loneliness is a side-effect of insensitive behavior. If you believe you may, perhaps just a tiny bit, fall into this category, begin listening with a compassionate ear. If you really listen, you learn what others need--they will tell you. Why not take our test, Are You a Good Listener? Listen and learn, my friend.


New research suggests managers who work democratically with their staff achieve better results than domineering characters. In fact, the study researchers found that study subjects got away from domineering bosses as soon as humanly possible. There you have it, research to support what everyone knew anyway. We humans are an independent bunch and we do not like authoritarian bosses, friends, lovers or co-workers.

If you believe you may, on occasion, be a tad too pushy, ask your friends. Don't ask the really sweat, kindly ones they will lie to you. They would hate to hurt your feelings. Ask someone who speaks his or her mind, no matter how much it hurts. By the way, I would not spend a great deal of time with that person. It is wonderful to be helpful, domineering is taking helpfulness a bit too far.


One can choose to be passive, aggressive or assertive. Aggressive individuals tend to be vocal and intimidating. Dictionary.com defines aggression as "characterized by or tending toward unprovoked offensives, attacks, invasions, or the like; militantly forward or menacing." Aggression does not win friends, it wins fearful compliance. An aggressive person may also be quite alone. Anger and a high volume tend to cause people to flee in large numbers. They suddenly remember an important dental appointment or a much needed manicure.

You may find this difficult to believe, but here it is—a Ohio State University research study suggests, "You may get some indication of how aggressively an angry person will react by measuring the size relationship between a person’s ears and other body parts, according to a new study." This has to do with symmetry, for example, if one ear, index finger or foot was bigger than another there is a lack of symmetry. Therefore, before you anger someone, first measure various body parts and if they are asymmetrical that individual is more likely to go postal on you.

When one becomes loud and aggressive, people stop listening. If you have a noticeable lack of friends, aggression may be the culprit. Remember, aggression is something one does, not something one is… behaviors can be changed. If in doubt, ask others for feedback and hope they are candid.


Normally one is uninteresting because he talks only about himself or she does nothing of interest. Talking about self exclusively is relatively easy to modify. People enjoy telling you about themselves. One way to make friends is to ask questions. You don’t want to hold a mini inquisition, however, if you find something about which a new acquaintance is passionate— ask for more information. You can occasionally nod your head to show you are listening and then sit back and relax. They will do the rest. If you are listening, you are not talking—easy enough.

If you are uninteresting due to a dull life you can revve up your social or vocational pursuits. Exciting opportunities are out there—though, you may have to look for them. If you feel fervently about a hobby, skill, vocation or talent, others will probably think it is exciting too. Hmmm, that is unless you collect stamps. You can read stimulating books; attend the theater, watch popular movies, or for the bold and daring, climb mountains or race cars. Such pursuits will give you material for hours of stimulating conversation—just remember-- listen also. Balance in all things leads to success.


PAWAN said...

gud one.....binny!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

nice blog - Sufi

Noel said...

Binny bhai mast hai

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